Прости

I started my 4th week of push ups and sit ups programs yesterday. So after 3 weeks I can do 18 push ups, 75 sit ups at once =) Not bad, I think. And I see that my shoulders became stronger and more relief. And I started 150 squats program too.

St Valentine's Day

Yeah, finally I have some time to share how that awful day was spent =)

Now my emotional condition is not very good. I am very nerved and depressed. I argue a lot and after some moment I feel ashamed. But what did I wanted to say?.. Yes! I try to transform my negative emotions to something positive - to creativity. As a result, I create something and, at the same time, I spend some time without worrying :)
So this year I decided to make square paper heart and present them on St Valentine's Day. I bought whatman (thick paper), glue, gouache, brushes, glass beads and sequins. The funny feature of my hearts is that they have square form. I presented two hearts to my colleagues (one heart is for 4 people and another heart is for a nice girl from my work) and one heart for my friend Kiselka. Kiselka seemed to not notice that present at all =) So here are my hearts.

This picture was taken by me. So you can see not vertical window frame =)

You can see my company name on the wall =) DataArt - I love you!

Yes, and about the day. I received some valentines! They all were sent by girls (as it seems). But one was sent by my colleagues (3 boys and one girl) whom I made a big heart for.

Piano

My piano moved from me 2 weeks ago. I thought I would miss playing it. But I don't. Maybe now. I know that I will buy a grand piano when I will leave alone and have my flat or house. It's my dream, actually - to have white grand piano! A great part of my life left me with that piano. I still love piano music. And I will never forget my soviet piano "Accord" =)

Hundred push ups and two hundred sit ups

Hundred push ups program, I've been doing it for 2 weeks. I couldn't pass the test for beginning of week 3. But now I have the advanced level of week 2 which I can hardly manage.
Two hundred sit ups, 2 weeks of participation. I moved to week 3 after I did 60 sit ups =)

I must complete these programs! Wish me a good luck!

Living for nothing. Does anyone knows what to live for? Stupid life, no reasons to live, no aim, no purpose. I hate life. I want to lose heart. Really. It's really difficult to be a disappointment to other people.

Music: John Frusciante – Dying song

Now I can say that my life have changed irreversibly. The guy, who I thought is my life, my future, doesn't want to see or hear me anymore. I still can't accept it. "It can't be true!" - I think. It's like a death - you can't accept and believe in it in the beginning. But I know people can overcome anything. I will accept the fact that I lost that man forever. It will be in the future. But it will be. It must be. The feelings will not disappear, they will fade away. The pain, anger will fade away. The only thing I can do is to wait. And I will wait.

Music: Massive Attack - Paradise Circus

And burn, you will burn,
You will burn in hell, yeah you’ll burn in hell.
You’ll burn in hell, yeah you’ll burn in hell for your sins.

There will be no tomorrow. There was no yesterday. There is only now. And there is no you in it. There is no reason to live. There is a fear to die. Fuck the world!

Fear and freedom

I have been going in for aikido trainings for 1 year and a half. I overcame some fears that I had. I started to do a lot of things i was afraid of. I started to be proud of myself. I started to feel free to do some brave (for me!) stuff :) But then I missed a lot of trainings because of my work, because of my laziness. Last time I was on a training I realized that my fears are growing inside me. Now I am afraid of some things that I used to do earlier. It's a shame. The only reason of my fears is my mind. When I just stop thinking and start doing - I can do a lot of things. Just stop thinking how difficult the movement would be and how painful it would be to fall.
Relax, just do what you need to do, don't think too much! You can do whatever you want. You need to be strong, you can do more!

My Bike

Now I am a happy owner of that bike - GT Avalanche 2.0 GTW! Yeah, baby, it's cool! =)  It's a big disappointment that it's winter now so I will start riding only in 2 months or even more...

Тишина. Тссс! Тихо-тихо-тихо. Тишина.

Она

Она руками своими нежными
Петлю на шею тебе набросит,
Не оставляя ничего от тебя прежнего,
Cама на цыпочки встать попросит.
Ты даже не сможешь ее увидеть,
Ты никогда не заглянешь в ее глаза,
А думаешь о том как бы ее не обидеть,
Не веря в то, что она действительно зла.
Ты можешь с ней расцвести и засохнуть,
Она сожрет тебя как цветок тля,
Но все равно лучше уж так сдохнуть,
Чем никого никогда не любя.

M.C. Escher

This great artist was one of my "discoveries" of the last year.
I'd like to say what features and techniques I really like in his works (before I forget it!).

First of all, I enjoyed Escher's works when he used 2D and 3D pictures on one composition.

For example, we can see on "Drawing Hands" that one hand is drawing another. 
The fingers and the hand are very realistic but in the direction of the wrist the hand is smoothly becoming plain and less 3D, it's loosing small features. And no-one knows which hand was first and started to draw another: it seems that they are on the same stage of work.

Another great work with different dimensions is "Reptiles".













Second point is that Escher played with perspective and created the impossible constructions. M.C. Escher was not just an artist, he was a mathematician! You see the picture, everything is fine from the first glance. But if you start to look better you understand that there can't be such staircases or one floor is connected with another one by some incredible degree, or the pillars must have a spiral shape.

I really like "Waterfall" work in which waterfall produces itself.
















In "Ascending and Descending" people are walking in circles. They ascend and descend, ascend and descend again and there is no end to their action.













Third point, he produced lithographs. I find it difficult process to made such prints so I respect his diligence.

Last point and the point I was so crazy about is his works with irregular divisions of the plane. It's amazing! The main work on this theme is "Metamorphosis" (I and II - they are wonderful). The buildings are turning into symmetrical figures which are turning into living beings! The plane full of lizards, some fishes who are eating ships or angels and demons .

I'd like to see some of his works once. But what I want more is to visit his museum in the Hague, the Netherlands. They created a lot of funny things that are playing with relativity and dimensions. It must be a place that can blow up your mind. And I like it! =)

Here are some quick links:
A website about M.C. Escher
Escher Museum (in English)

All pictures in this post were copied from http://www.mcescher.com.